Ana shoved the rest of her belongings into her handbag and picked up the large bunch of flowers that still sat next to the bed. She looked around the small hospital room to see if there was\u00a0 anything she\u2019d forgotten. She wasn\u2019t going to miss this place, that was for sure: Bad food; pervasive smell of disinfectant; grumpy nurses. Yep, she sure was glad to be going home.<\/p>\n
Home.<\/p>\n
Wherever that was.<\/p>\n
It was a strange feeling not knowing where you belonged. Up until recently she had been sure of where her home was. It was in Melbourne, with Tom. But now\u2026? Now it was anywhere she wanted it to be. But she wasn\u2019t quite sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.<\/p>\n
The door to the room opened and the doctor walked in.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m glad I caught you,\u201d he said in a friendly tone. \u201cI wanted to say goodbye.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI would say it was great to be here,\u201d Ana said. \u201cBut, I don\u2019t look forward to coming back anytime soon.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI hope not,\u201d the doctor said with brevity. \u201cI sincerely hope you mean that.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course I do,\u201d Ana said.<\/p>\n
The doctor hesitated. \u201cYou know there is always help around you if you need it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ana laughed dismissively. \u201cOh, I don\u2019t need help. I\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, if you ever do\u2026\u201d He trailed off as Willow walked into the room.<\/p>\n
\u201cEverything OK?\u201d Willow said, concern etched on her face.<\/p>\n
\u201cEverything\u2019s fine,\u201d Ana said brightly. \u201cI\u2019m ready to go when you are.\u201d She hitched her bag onto her shoulder and walked past the doctor, out of the room.<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat shall we do tonight?\u201d Willow said as they walked slowly towards Ana\u2019s hotel room. \u201cAnything you want.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI think I\u2019ll just have a quiet one,\u201d Ana said. \u201cI\u2019m pretty beat. Besides, it\u2019s so nice to have my own room with no nurses coming in every five minutes to check on me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI guess they were just doing their job,\u201d Willow said. \u201cWe were all pretty worried about you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know,\u201d said Ana. \u201cBut you really didn\u2019t need to be. The doctors said that there was no long term damage and that I\u2019m right as rain.\u201d<\/p>\n
Willow tugged at a loose thread on her t-shirt. \u201cI suppose they weren\u2019t sure\u2026 you know\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf I was going to kill myself?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I wasn\u2019t going to put it quite like that, but yeah, I guess so.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ana laughed. \u201cDon\u2019t worry. I\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019d talk to me if you weren\u2019t though?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course.\u201d Ana stopped outside her door and slid the card into the lock. \u201cI promise, Willow, I\u2019m absolutely fine.\u201d<\/p>\n
Willow gave her friend a hug and walked next door to her own room. Ana pulled the door shut and rested against it, closing her eyes, sighing in relief.<\/p>\n
Alone, at last.<\/em><\/p>\n It felt as though she hadn\u2019t managed any alone time in weeks. She stepped out of her clothes and turned on the shower, letting the hot water rush over her body, steam filling the room. She washed her hair, inhaling the smell of the shampoo. It reminded her of Tom. She was almost certain that it was the same brand that he used. She felt a sudden pang of\u2026 regret? Sadness? She hadn\u2019t had time to miss him before now, but it suddenly hit her, and she felt tears well in her eyes and start running down her cheeks, mixing with the shower water. She rinsed her hair quickly and stepped out of the shower, not bothering to dry herself properly, pulling on the hotel bathrobe. \u201cThis is Tom\u2019s phone.\u201d The voice was light, playful, a hint of laughter around the edges. \u201cHello? Anyone there?\u201d<\/p>\n Ana heard a small struggle then giggling.<\/p>\n \u201cGive that to me,\u201d Tom\u2019s muffled voice said. The girl laughed again before handing him the phone. \u201cHello, this is Tom.\u201d<\/p>\n Ana felt her heart skip a beat.<\/p>\n \u201cHello? Hello? Anyone there?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTom\u2026it\u2019s\u2026it\u2019s Ana.\u201d<\/p>\n The background laughter stopped. Ana could have sworn she heard Tom say \u201cshhhh\u201d.<\/p>\n \u201cAna! How are you?\u201d<\/p>\n Ana curled the cord of the phone around her fingers. \u201cI\u2019m fine.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI haven\u2019t heard from you in ages. Not since\u2026 I tried calling you a few times, but you never answered.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve been away,\u201d Ana said. \u201cOverseas.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBut you\u2019re back?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cActually, I\u2019m still away,\u201d she said carefully. \u201cNot coming back for a while I don\u2019t think.\u201d<\/p>\n Silence on the other end of the line.<\/p>\n \u201cTom?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, I\u2019m still here.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOh. Well\u2026 how are you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m fine,\u201d he said brusquely. He sighed loudly. \u201cAna, what do you want?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI just wanted to say hi,\u201d she said in a small voice. \u201cTo see how you were.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I\u2019m doing just great,\u201d he said angrily. \u201cYou know, the usual. Working too hard. Wife divorcing me. Trying to get on with my life.Nothing out of the ordinary.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWho was that in the background?\u201d Ana said, immediately wishing she hadn\u2019t.<\/p>\n Tom sighed again. \u201cThat was Carly.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAre you\u2026 You\u2019re seeing someone?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell\u2026 yeah. I guess. I couldn\u2019t wait around for you, could I?\u201d he added defensively.<\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d Ana said quickly. \u201cI think it\u2019s great. It\u2019s really great.\u201d Tears pricked her eyes again. \u201cTom, I\u2019ve got to run, but we\u2019ll chat again soon, OK?\u201d<\/p>\n She hung up the phone before he could respond. Her heart was pounding and her mouth was dry. She felt frantic, her breath coming in short, shallow gasps. Without even realising what she was doing, Ana went to the fridge and yanked it open. She pulled out the small bottles of spirits and drank them, one at a time, barely stopping to take a breath. She couldn\u2019t stop crying the entire time.<\/p>\n \u201cI don’t\u2019 want to feel like this anymore,\u201d she whispered to herself between sobs.<\/p>\n She staggered into the bathroom where she\u2019d put her toiletry bag and rifled through it finding what she was looking for. A full bottle of sleeping pills, prescribed before she left, to use for jet lag. She\u2019d hardly had any of them. She popped off the lid, and emptied the pills into her hand.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n Willow was flicking through television stations when there was a quiet knock on her door. She peered through the peephole. Ana was dressed in a robe, her hair wet, her face red and puffy from crying. Willow pulled open the door and ushered her in.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m not OK,\u201d Ana said between sobs. \u201cWillow, I\u2019m not OK.\u201d<\/p>\n Willow wrapped her arms around Ana and pulled her close, feeling her body heaving as she sobbed uncontrollably. Willow could smell booze on her breath and saw that, in her hand, Ana clutched a full bottle of sleeping tablets.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m here,\u201d Willow said. \u201cIt\u2019s all going to be OK.\u201d<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Ana shoved the rest of her belongings into her handbag and picked up the large bunch of flowers that still sat next to the bed. She looked around the small hospital room to see if there was\u00a0 anything she\u2019d forgotten. She wasn\u2019t going to miss this place, that was for sure: Bad food; pervasive smell […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes"},"categories":[218],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/ravenoustales.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1021"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/ravenoustales.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/ravenoustales.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ravenoustales.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ravenoustales.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1021"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/ravenoustales.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1021\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1023,"href":"http:\/\/ravenoustales.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1021\/revisions\/1023"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/ravenoustales.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1021"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ravenoustales.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1021"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/ravenoustales.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1021"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nShe picked up the phone and dialed Tom\u2019s number. She still knew it off the top of her head.<\/p>\n