Mia woke with a start, heart hammering, mouth dry. Another nightmare, same as the others: She was trapped in a huge, empty grey house. No matter how hard she tried she couldn’t find a way out. Eventually, she gave up and collapsed on the floor, resigned to the fact she would be alone there, forever.
She sat up in bed, allowing her breathing to regulate and her rational mind to kick in again. The eerie green glow from the bedside clock told her it was 3:14am.
Too early to be awake.
She pulled back the covers slightly from the other side of the bed and felt relief flood through her. Johnny. He was still here. She didn’t know why he wouldn’t be, but she just couldn’t shake the feeling that she was going to lose him.
“I’ve only just got you,” she whispered to the sleeping figure. “Please don’t go away again.”
He rolled over, still asleep, and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. Mia smiled and closed her eyes, eventually falling back into a dreamless sleep.
***
“Good morning sleepy head.”
Mia groggily opened her eyes. Johnny was sitting on the edge of the bed, grinning at her. She wiped the sleep from her eyes and stretched.
“What time is it?” she mumbled.
“Nearly ten.”
Mia groaned. “You should have woken me up.”
He leaned down and kissed her gently. “But you look so at peace when you’re asleep,” he whispered. “I couldn’t possibly disturb that.”
His skin felt cool and damp, and he smelled like shampoo with a hint of chlorine. He had nothing but a white towel wrapped around his waist. He’d obviously had his morning swim in the hotel pool and was showered, almost ready to start the day. Mia grinned back at him, a familiar warmth glowing in her chest and, for about the millionth time, marveled at his divine body. Sunlight streaming through the cracks in the curtains emphasised his toned abs and muscled arms. His skin had a hint of golden tan from the times during the last week they’d actually managed to leave the hotel room.
From where she lay, Mia ran a hand lightly over his chest, her fingers tingling where they connected with his skin. She pushed herself up to sitting, the white sheet falling from her naked torso. Johnny leaned forward and gently cupped her breast with his hand, lowering his head and kissing it slowly, seductively. Mia inhaled sharply, feeling her heartbeat quicken and the warmth in her chest spreading downwards. She ran her fingers roughly through his hair, forcing his mouth harder onto her nipples until she couldn’t tell if she felt pleasure or pain. She let out a small moan. Johnny lifted his head, bringing his lips to hers, his hands to either side of her face, kissing her deeply and ferociously.
“I love you so much,” he whispered, between kisses.
Mia gently pushed him away, a smile playing on the corner of her lips. She knelt on the edge of the bed, next to where he was sitting.
“Stand up.”
The towel did little to cover his excitement for her and she tugged it, throwing it to the floor. She roughly pulled him onto the bed, so he was lying on his back, and kissed his toes, his knees, his firm stomach and broad chest. She pinned his hands above his head with her own, straddling him. Very slowly, she slid him into her, moving gently, rhythmically, until neither of them could bare it any longer and they clutched at each other, their bodies convulsing in the most beautiful pleasure they could possibly imagine.
***
The bed was littered with half empty plates from a tapas feast Johnny had prepared. Plump, juicy tomatoes with buffalo mozzarella drizzled in olive oil, warm bread, cured meats and local cheeses. They’d spilled food on the sheets and there were crumbs everywhere.
“It’s the beauty of living in a hotel for a while,” Johnny said, brushing crumbs onto the floor. “We don’t actually have to clean anything up.”
He stroked Mia’s head gently, watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest. She seemed as though she were somewhere else entirely.
“What are you thinking about?” he said gently.
She wrapped her fingers around his, looking thoughtful before answering. “I was just wondering what happened,” she said.
“With what?”
“With you. Why are you here?”
“To see you,” Johnny said. “And Willow and Ana too.”
“But why now?”
He shrugged. “It’s like I said. I didn’t want to live a lie anymore.”
“But what about…” Mia paused. She didn’t really want to bring this up, but she knew they had to talk about it one day. “What about Cecelia?”
“That was never serious,” Johnny said. “I told you. I was just doing it so her family wouldn’t disown her.”
“Does she know it wasn’t for real?”
Johnny hesitated for a second. “Of course.”
“So she knows you’re here? She knows about us?”
“Well… Not exactly.”
“Johnny!”
“What? I didn’t even know there was going to be an us!” he said. “You weren’t exactly forthcoming in your feelings, you know.”
“Can you blame me?” Mia said. “Given everything that I know about you?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re not exactly a saint, Johnny.”
“That’s not fair!” he protested, sitting up in bed. “So I had a few indiscretions, but I’m here now. I love you.”
“I know you do,” Mia said slowly. “But you’re going to be a father. To another woman’s child. How do you think that makes me feel?”
“How do you think it makes me feel,” he replied, exasperated. “Look Mia, I don’t love Cecelia, I never have and never will. I’ll agree that it’s a fucked up situation, but we’ll make it work. I know we will.”
Mia nodded thoughtfully. “So what happens now?”
“We go home,” Johnny said. “Start over.”
“Home?”
“Yeah, back to Melbourne.”
“But…” Mia’s head reeled. “I can’t go back there.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t have a job, a house…I don’t have anything there anymore.”
“You’ll have me,” Johnny said.
“I know, but…” she trailed off.
“But you don’t know if I’m enough,” he finished bitterly.
“That’s not it at all,” Mia said quickly. “It’s just… well… I can’t be in Melbourne right now. I think it’s important for me – for us – to have a fresh start. To be somewhere without all the… history.”
“It’s a nice dream, Mia,” he said. “But I can’t exactly pack everything in and leave. I have a business, a house. A kid on the way.” As soon as it was out he immediately regretted the last sentence.
“As if I needed reminding,” Mia grumbled. She pushed herself off the bed and pulled on a robe, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Why can’t we go somewhere new? To give us a real chance?”
“You don’t think we can do that in Melbourne?”
“No,” she said. She looked closely at him. “And I don’t think you do either.”
Johnny stood up, walking over to Mia and putting his arms on her shoulders. “You understand why I can’t leave there though?”
Mia nodded, blinking back tears. “And you understand why I can’t stay?”
Johnny shook his head, his shoulders slumping. “It seems we’re at a stalemate again.”
“It seems so,” Mia said sadly.
Johnny pulled her into his arms again, hugging her tight. “It shouldn’t be this hard, should it?”
No, thought Mia, as tears started to run down her face.
***